It's A Sad Sad Day When You;re Pretty Sure You Don't Have Anything Being Delivered By Amazon.

Which I'm not sure is a comment on our Society or my life. Y'all choose.

Well, I spent the last month slowly going into the most depressive episode I've had a LONG time and I don't know why. Why I started it in the first place, that is. Damned Depression will sneak up on your ass, even while you're looking, and just bitch slap you to the stone age if possible.

SWMBO made an off-hand remark about something going on between us that, once the Depression took hold, had me delusional to the point of getting ready to move out. Ran the gambit of just being pissed/depressed to being pissed/depressed enough to leave. Not sleeping. Eating too much junk food. Just hating my life.

Self talk just wasn't working. Pretty much nothing was working.

But, finally, last night (on date day of all things) I finally realized that I wasn't being rational. Not a bit. Some of the things I was thinking just couldn't be.

So I told SWMBO what was going on with me. She took it well. Said she'd noticed that I was being weird.

And we worked it out. I feel pretty good today; but I got over 2 hours in a row sleep and fell asleep wrapped in her arms.

Very little is better than that to/for me.

But I am upset that all the 'tools' I've learned to use for my Depression didn't really work and it took me so long to recognize what was happening. It really came on slow this time. I recognize the instant mood changes but not this.

I feel sorry for SWMBO. We're at 38 years in 6 days with who knows how many more staring her in the face. Poor girl.

Anywho: Been simmering a pot of chili for 3 days now. It tastes great! Will make some cornbread and we'll be having the chili with it for dinner.

Trying some new bean recipes prepping them for freeze drying. Want to have "instant' beans in the pantry/food storage. So I'm soaking pinto, lima, navy, and small red beans (in separate jars) and will pressure pot them tomorrow and give them a try. And the winner is:

Rain & Wind today. Rained so hard my security cam picked it up. Dog still wants to go for a walk. Bye, Dog.

Anyway, just checking in. It's winter time (part of the problem) so just not much going on.